Hey, Auntie!: Shenyah S.

In our fourth and final interview for this edition of "Hey, Auntie!", get to know Shenyah S. Shenyah is an enthusiastic creative with a love of adventure and a warm, and infectious laugh which she uses quite a bit with her Littles. Read on to learn more about how she maximizes her energy when she's around these lights in her life, and how self-reflection informs her Auntie style.

What is your idea of a dope auntie?

When I think about being dope at something a few things come to mind. First and foremost I think of joy. To be truly dope at something you have to have the emotional capacity to keep pushing to be your personal best. That type of drive typically comes from the pure joy you embody! Also, I think of vulnerability. To be dope probably means you fumbled a few things, you know? You had to be humble enough to self-reflect or ask for help here and there. That type of transparency requires vulnerability and allowing someone or something to truly see you. Being a Dope Auntie means sharing in beautiful experiences, tenderly loving on and pouring life into the babies you call kin. It's thoughtfully correcting and providing a different perspective to the lessons they are learning in life. Finally, it's being a place where opportunity lives.

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Who were the women in your life who you would say fit this idea/definition?

I cannot say one singular woman embodied my definition of a dope auntie, but I can say that the multitude of women in my everyday life each played a role in this ideal version of being a dope auntie. I had an auntie who let me and my siblings spend summers with her, and even though it was extremely extravagant, being outside of my normal day-to-day was truly a reprieve for me. Another one of my aunties taught youth bible study in my grandfather's church. She shared the word with me and gave me my first personal hymn. I still sing that song when I am in need and looking for comfort. I also had big cousins who I called "Auntie" who told me how beautiful I was every time they saw me- those tokens of love warmed me and kept my self-esteem high.

Who calls you "Auntie" and what is their name for you? How would you describe these relationships?

I have a bunch of new-age nieces and nephews who call me by my first name. I give them a hard time about that, but I know they love me just the same. One of my nephews would probably look at me as stuffy and out of date compared to my counterparts (his much younger uncles) but I try to be a voice of reason whenever I can. One of my other nephews used to be my right-hand man when he was younger. People always thought he was my son. Now I often lament with him that before he had video games, Tik Tok, and Youtube, he thought I was cool. I spend a lot of time talking with him about emotions and feelings. Especially the benefit of processing them and taking your time to express yourself. One of my nieces says my name so beautifully and accurately I smile every time. Another niece is always so fascinated about how much I look like her mom. She exaggerates this often, and I think since we don't near one another she's surprised every time. I am "TT" to one god baby who is a ball of fun and curiosity, and I am Nina to a god baby who lights up when I come in the room. Overall, each one of them brings me joy in their own special way, and I hope to be a person that holds peace and protection in their lives.

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What do you hope for in your relationship and what's your favorite part about being an auntie?

My biggest hope in life is to be a healthy and happy example to each of them. I understand that being close every day is not possible, but when we have moments together I do my best to make them count and to make them each feel seen and heard. I would love to be only a home away from their home one day, or the person to give them their first car, or the person to give them something they truly will cherish. My favorite thing about them is seeing that they are extensions of people I very much adore. I love how they light up and become so animated when they see one another. They are so excited to share their world or ask me for special favors when their parents say no. Of course, I do my best to respect their parent's wishes, and I hate to admit it, but I am the one that always bargains in their favor. I am not always the most outrageously fun person, but I try to turn it up a lot more when it comes to them. Imagination and curiosity have always been a huge part of my life, and the beauty that is birthed in fanciful moments is priceless. I hope I am able to nurture and expand their wildest dreams.

What do you do to take care of yourself so that you can be at your best for yourself and your Littles?

I do a lot of introspection and journaling. I do my best to practice being open and honest with myself so I can share my knowledge and wisdom with them. I journal my feelings, I practice self-love and creativity through writing, and I soak up the sun.

What's one piece of advice that you've either been given or want to share with future generations?

Love all pieces of your life. The smudged pieces, the vibrant pieces, the unique pieces because they all matter and make up the beautiful foundation of your story. Be kind, patient, humble, and eager to seek knowledge. Never let someone write the chapters of your book, you are the author of your story.